Hello there! :)

I've done so much since the last time i updated here, will sum it up. Remember i wanted to change of piano teacher? Well, i did. Around last November i started having private classes; two times a week, 30mins each class.

Such a big difference!

I learnt a lot and i improved so much on reading sheets and playing them, i was in the christmas concert of that academy and even tho i was so nervous it all went great! I was so happy i didn't get stuck up there, such an experience.

Also, since i was taking a sabbatical year and the principal of the academy was recieveing more student and were lacking on teachers, she asked me to do it. I was so affraid (i have never been able to explain things) and i said no, but eventually she convinced me and i started teaching beginners, which also helped me a lot on the reading of the notes and learning myself because i had to be careful that they did it right. I was still nervous but i started to get better at it :)

I applied for music university (public one) and my teacher started working with me with the pieces i had to play on the acceptance test. Meanwhile was finishing the book i was learning with. I got accepted. Such joy!

I kept teaching and learning for a few months after that and went to search for a place to live at since the uni is in my state's capital, two hours away from here. I would be living alone for the first time ever and i would do things i usually didn't, big responsabilities upcoming, i was really nervous the day my family took me there to start this new page in my life, and was a bit emotional when they left.

However, when i started doing all the chores and cooking and waking up by myself and doing this and that, it felt good. It felt good to know i could do it, that i was capable of doing things i usually let other people to do for me. Also,learning the routes to my uni from the house, from the uni to my house, from the bus station to my house, from my house to the bus station, from the mall to the school to my house to other places. Learning.

Awesomeness.

I feel so good right now, in general. I just miss my mom and my dog. And sometimes i realize how much i miss other people when i know about them after a while.

It's been around one and a half month not being at home but the weekends, still so much to go.

:) Love,
Esmeralda.

Have a great day :P

 Well, my recital sucked pretty much. I was so nervous that at first, i forgot the score at my seatt! And i had to go back downstairs go for it and get up on stage. <_< I'm pretty sure i blushed and i also had this stupid smile, cus nervousness. Ugh.

I started good, but when i was looking at the keys i noticed sometimes i was pressing wrong ones! And i got moar nervous D: So, when i got to the part that was hard for me to play while practicing it, i forgot it! And after a few seconds that i looked at score and all, but still didn't have a clue, teacher said "Go to the last part". Died of embarrassment. But i ended the piece, atleast.

Was such a dissappointment.

But anyway, passing from that, i started going to a choir this week. It's pretty awesome, love it. My voice ranking is mezzo-soprano, which means i can reach low notes and also high ones. But not too high, also not to low. But the teacher put me on contralto group, aparently, for girl's low voices. :) It's amazing to hear the pieces being performed by 4 different voices. Bass, tenors, contraltos, and sopranos.

I'm very happy about it, also, hope can find a new piano teacher cus the one i have goes to slow, plus have a lot of pupils and doesn't have much time, i guess. Will soon go with a guitar teacher :), i've someone targeted. xD

If there's anyone reading this, see ya later :) and thankies for it. :*

The trapeze. Hell, yes.

I'd love to. :D

 Btw, i wrote last post yesterday. But somehow i tought it had gone when i did idk what thing with the keyboard, and couldn't see it.
:]

-day after recital-

:) Not long ago that i changed my livejournal's theme, and i tought it deserved a post itself. So, there is it, a beautiful theme, i loved it since i saw itttt, i couldn't decide, and when i saw this one, i tought couldn't find any better.

I love green, not because i'd like the color itself, but because represents the one person i love. Tho, i learnt to see it as a relaxing color, pretty paceful and nature like :3

That girl looks sad, but also is holding a guitar, which is pretty cool, since makes me think, on her expression, she is expressing her feeling through it, and i love music, it's what i'm going to study and that kind of represents me, plus, that sadness air is following me too since a few months xD So, i think it's totally perfect.

Beside that, ionno, i am still not used to write a journal, but i guess i'm getting used to it :) Even if i don't do it much ofter (very not much).

Tomaro will be my recital of piano. This piece i'm gonna play is easy, but i had a few very hard times trying to learn it 'cause i'm still not an expert in piano, i'm just starting to learn. It's called Love Story by Francis Lai (edition from 1970), from the paramount picture also with the name Love Story. It sounds familiar to me, but i kinda hate it now, for giving hard times xD Tho, i'm proud i can play it now. Wew.

Hope it goes alright. :)

I'll come to talk about it, i guess (;


Btw! Check out what i'm listening to, such a great song o.o

I do. :) Everyone deserves one, the thing is that plenty of them doesn't want it, and just throw all away.

Urbaaaan. I don't like the smell of rural, lol o.o Plus, i love technologyyy. \o/ And all that o.o

 ¿Por qué las cosas nunca salen como tu quieres que salgan? ¿Por qué, aunque tu lo des todo, no recibes nada? ¿Es que no me lo merezco? O tal vez no esté destinada a ser feliz aún.

Soy una estúpida. ¿Por qué? Pues por la simple razón de que me he enamorado. Por internet. Si, así como lo lees. Aunque para algunas personas les parezca imposible conectarse con otra persona a través de la web, para mi fue bastante sencillo. Puede ser que no esté enamorada de su cuerpo, pues no he tenido la oportunidad de abrazarlo, besarlo, sentirlo; pero si de su personalidad, su interior, lo más importante en una persona para mi. :]

Y, ¿por que la tristeza, entonces? Dirán. (Si es que hay alguien leyendo, obviamente)
Después de un año con ésta maravillosa persona, a quien amo, él simplemente dejó de quererme. Es de entender, cosas así pasan. Pero uno no puede evitar sentirse... menospreciada, sin valor. Y uno no puede evitar preguntarse: ¿que es lo que he hecho mal?

Y aunque el quisiera quererme, y yo quisiera que el me quiera... no se puede. Y aunque el ya no me quiera, yo si lo amo a el.

Incondicionalmente. Por siempre. That's what i say now, cheesy me, but that's what it feels like.

Hum, i think that for more that i hate someone or dislike or makes my life impossible, i wouldn't, since takes part of what i am, and i like how i am atm, tyvm. xD

So, yeah. :]

Even, tho. There is times i wish they never existed!

Vaya, bastante tiempo que no me paso por aquí y digo alguna tontería.. Podría decir que no tuve tiempo, que no pude, etc. Pero mentiría. Simplemente no me apetecía venir y contar todo lo que pasaba en esos momentos. Y supongo, también, que no me saldrían las palabras para nada. Cada vez que escribí alguna entrada en mi livejournal, sentía algo raro.. como si fuera la primera vez que me abría hacia alguien. Creo yo que es eso lo que pasaba.

Al releer lo que escribía, siempre, sin excepción sentía que era demasiado estupido y que no eran las palabras de alguien que escribiera seguido. Que era demasiado tedioso lo que contaba, o que la manera en lo que lo contaba, lo hacía tedioso. Hoy me siento bien al estar escribiendo algo aquí, contando ésto, aunque no tengo la más minima idea de si lo estoy haciendo bien, si es aburrido, si es estupido, etc.. Y me doy cuenta de que no me importa demasiado.

Quería algo con que distraerme de algo que viví en mi segunda vida (léase, juego de internet) aquí, quise ver la tv y por alguna razón no funciona correctamente; quise leer algún libro en mi usb pero no lo encuentro, y quise leer algún fanfiction, pero me vino a la idea venir a ver que había de nuevo en livejournal y de una vez contar alguna que otra cosa.

Es bastante raro como me salieron éstas palabras sin pensarlas demasiado, es fantástico como, tenindo mucho tiempo de no estar aquí y de no contar nada en éste estilo, me siento bien y finalmente, con algo más de satisfacción al saber que lo hago con fluidez. Que no tengo problema al decir algo, no tengo mucho que haya escrito y borrado tratando de encontrar una mejor manera de describirlo, de decirlo, de contarlo.

Me encantaría poder seguir viniendo y descubrir si podré volver a hacer lo que estoy haciendo en éste momento. Pero no sé si tendré el valor, el coraje o simplemente los, perdonenme la expresión, los huevos para salir de mi "otra vida" y venir a algo.. un tanto... más real...

Algo.

Siento no haber estado todo este tiempo y desaparecer, casi repentinamente del mundo dramione, del foro de Dry, y de todo ese mundo tan maravilloso que una vez me tuvo cautivada.. y que me encantaría poder volver a el. Y me sigue encantando el Dramione, sigo pensando que los polos opuestos se atraen, sigo creyendo que algún día mi carta de hogwarts vendrá, sólo con un ligero atraso de cinco años, sigo pensando que Dobby es lo mejor de lo mejor. Mi corazón sigue con el Fandom de Harry Potter. Aunque no lo parezca.

Ésta entrada parece.. irreal. Simplemente no parece yo y a la vez, refleja exactamente lo que yo soy. Cada palabra, cada punto, cada coma están impregnadas de mi.

He cambiado. Y creo saber que lo notarán.. quienes lo lean. Me siento una mejor persona.. en la mayoría de los aspectos. Siento que mi autoestima a subido bastante desde la última vez que publiqué una entrada, y me alegro. Mucho.

*suspira largamente* No sé que más decir. Al ir redactando se esfumó el remolino de emociones que tenía al llegar y ya no veo alguna necesidad de seguir. No por ahora.

Los quiero mucho. Las quiero mucho. <3

Me~